Critical Hits

d12	CuFuC
1	If you made this roll during an attack, you just hit a random character with double critical damage instead. If this roll was non-combat, you're so angry at f***ing up that you attack a random character with your primary weapon in frustration.
2	Give the die that made this roll to another player at the table. They must use this die for the rest of the game session and, every time they roll it, they have to say "Bad, die. BAD!"
3	All your hair falls out. Yes, even down there...
4	All your magic items have turned into nonmagical versions of the same stuff.
5	Roll twice on the SURPRISE table from earlier in this chapter.
6	You take 1d12 force damage. Describe in excruciating detail what you did to earn this embarrassing injury.
7	You get a paper cut. If you fail a DC 16 Constitution saving throw, you lose 1d6 hit points from blood loss at the start of each of your turns for the next 1d6 rounds.
8	The weapon or item you were using when you made this crappy roll catches on fire. Throw it away or take 2d10 fire damage while it smolders.
9	Whatever you were doing when this roll took place just became a comedic pratfall that hits you in the junk. Take 2d6 bludgeoning damage, and if you had a point of Inspiration, it's now gone.
10	You are so angry at your stupid mistake that an important grouping of blood vessels in your brain bursts. Permanently lose 1 Intelligence and your sense of smell.
11	Your roll was so bad that you forsake the gods. If you're a cleric you poop yourself every time you cast a spell until you finish a long rest.
12	Your internal organs are replaced with stinging bees. Instant death. No saving throw.

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